Often, I find people praising me. They want to bless me, worship my kindness and whatever. They seldom are aware how uncomfortable all this worship is. I am merely an old woman, who does the best she can. I have no special talents. I run purely on passion and determination.
I need to encourage everyone to be all they can be. It is simple to accomplish. You only need to decide that you are and will be kind. You can choose tolerance as a battle cry and you can buck the system when it isn't working for your world. I have this quote at the bottom of each email I send: "Unjust laws exist; shall we be content to obey them, or shall we endeavor to amend them, and obey them until we have succeeded, or shall we transgress them at once?” – Henry David Thoreau. It is there hoping that others will read it and then act on it.
When I first got into the cannabis world, it wasn't legal in many places. Yes, in Oregon, where I live, it was medically legal, but still difficult to always follow the regulations to a T. I choose to follow any current regulations when they are applicable to what I do. If the regulations heed my ability to help; I dance around them. I choose to freely give medicines to people who suffer from cancer. It is my way of rationalizing not always adhereing to the letter of the law. It is impossible to follow every regulation that those government officials choose to come up with. Yes, I know we need laws to make sure there are no pesticides or mold in our plant material. I know children should be kept safely away from using any mind altering drugs and I know tax money is important for every State. I also know that every person making more than 2,000.00 per month cannot afford a medical marijuana card costing them no less than a total of 375.00. It cost 150-175 for a clinic to sign your papers and then the State of Oregon wants 200.00. To someone fighting cancer, this can be a prohibited amount. It is even hard for me to have an extra 400.00 living mostly on Social Security.
I have made decisions in my life that make a life full of passion, love and hard work. I simply choose to be kind, tolerant and busy. It is no magic pill or even eating my infamous chocolate salty balls that give me the ability to live the way I do. It is a decision that anyone is able to make.
And....while I am at it; I don't understand the "yes butts" people continually use that hinders them in so many ways. I hear so often, "I don't want to mask my symthoms because the doctor is trying to find what ails me". What??? You are in pain, you can't sleep, you take vicodin or worse but you won't try cannabis because of what ???? I know so many much younger than me with health issues that are of their own doing. Shot knees because they are in charge of carrying an extra 50 or more pounds up and down all day long, hips that squeek and hurt because they sit in a recliner 24-7 and the then there is the dreaded diabitis diagnoses, but you can't stop eating carbs that convert to sugar let alone leave the cake on the plate? What is up with that?
I am tired of hearing how lucky I am. Yes, luck is part of it, but I eat green vegetables, watch my meat intake and I you won't find me sitting for hours at a time (unless I am on Facebook or Pinterest.) I live my life with passion seldom succumbing to a pity party for myself. My children live far away, I have had many of my favorite pets die on me, I am older than I'd like to think and I certainly do not have the finances that I think are necessary.
I choose to be happy. I choose to be kind and I choose to be all of who I am and then throw out the crap that gets in my way like revenge, hate and intolerance. I am not special. I have just lived long enough to figure out what works for me. I don't have friends who find me a project for improvement or use me as a sounding board for their dissapointments in life. Yes, I do listen to problems, but if those problems are a valuable part of who you have decided to be; please just don't come my way. I have figured out that in my family history, there were people who decided that suffering was a valuable attribute. I don't think it gave them the space to be kind or tolerant. They were too busy working for the sake of work, suffering for the ability to complain and the list goes on. I have decided to die knowing I had the best life I could. I do not want to die realizing that my life was boring or lacking in passion.
Now, that you know I am not possessing some amazing talent that you lack; just what will you do with that information? It is up to each of us who we are. Your mother, aunt or grandma did not make a permanent character trait inside of you that cannot be altered. It is simply up to each of us to do what we can to be happy and throw the things out that gets in the way. Wake up each and every morning grateful for what you have. Your feet hurt when they hit the floor? Wobble to the kitchen happy that you can still do the wobble. I know I am preaching. I know that it isn't often productive. After all, I am without perfection. I am always a work in progress.
I am not falling for all the praise some heap on me. I can be irritating, irresponsible and even inconsiderate. I am flawed. So instead of thinking that I am special, go out to be special yourself. Pass special on to others. I think that sometimes it is just easier for us to think we can't be like someone else. We stick on to them attributes that we are too lazy or unaware that can be part of ourselves.
Comment please. I really think this is quite random and even may insult some of you or you just might want to tell me that you have chosen a good character trait to practice for yourself. What word did you choose. I chose "tolerant" years ago when I knew that I needed to work on that part of myself. It became the fuel each and every day. I am still intolerant of yes butts and racial prejudice so am I perfect yet? I think not!